


The Nothing Talks

by sephmeadowes



Category: Original Work
Genre: Childhood Friends, College, Friends to Lovers, Original Characters - Freeform, Short Story, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22601500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sephmeadowes/pseuds/sephmeadowes
Summary: Via and Hadrian have been friends forever until she has to wonder if they're more than that. A short story about falling in love without noticing.
Kudos: 2





	The Nothing Talks

Via first had classes with Hadrian in kindergarten. He was the cutest boy in their class with his wavy, dark hair and bizarrely green eyes like a cat. She had an embarrassing crush on him she hid with every fiber of her being which was put to test when he decided to strike up a conversation with her during the short walk from the school gates to their classroom. She overcompensated by acting like the world's most unfriendly five-year-old, even if she was inwardly dying, as she shut down his questions with the ferocity of an angry Chihuahua and this didn't seem to faze him at all.

Adding to this little torture that life seemed to inflict on her was when she found out he had a crush on pretty Avery who sat beside her in one class. Hadrian tried to talk to Avery and the other girl proceeded to try and foster him unto Via.

"I don't like him," She whispered too loudly that of course the boy across from them had to hear. "You have him."

"No!" Via replied back, eyeing their topic who was fiddling and destroying the eraser of his pencil. "He likes you."

"He can learn to like you back." Avery, the new face of evil, shrugged off her protests easily. "You'd look good together."

Via at this point was wondering to herself with righteous alarm what was happening. It was one thing to have a crush on a boy. It was another thing to have boy's crush want you to be with the boy when you couldn't even talk to said boy without getting ill with a fever. Life was only starting out for her, why was everything so hard?

She looked back to the object of her affections that was pulling out the lead from the pencil now, destroying its use forever. Why did she even like this weirdo? Her face felt overheated from this madness and she looked back to Avery and told her that 'no, she did not like Hadrian' and 'please leave her alone.' Fortunately, Avery did but unfortunately, Hadrian didn't.

* * *

Their school wasn't very big and their class was even smaller so it made sense that Via and Hadrian were forced to sit beside each other a lot of the time due to their last names both beginning with the letter M. By the First Grade, Hadrian had outgrown his crush on Avery and his hatred of pencils. Via was long over her crush on him and had ended up starting a pseudo-friendship that was half the immature arguing of children and the other half was because _people needed to socialize and it was easier with someone you've known your whole life_. It was not like she could avoid him as her parents and his dad were the best of friends.

She wouldn't really understand the dynamics her mom and stepdad had with Hadrian's dad until years later and they had their own messed up stories as well. Hadrian's Dad was "Uncle Shawn" to her and her stepdad and mom were "Uncle Tristan and Aunt Leila" to him. And this was accompanied by weekend trips to the properties Uncle Shawn owned, late night car rides where they were allowed to stay past their bedtimes, and Hadrian systematically destroying her toys with the finesse of an earthquake.

It was a common occurrence for her to wake as her stepfather carried her from her bed to Uncle Shawn's car and be greeted by Hadrian who was also in his pajamas. And yes, she only really drank orange soda even if she didn't care for it as it was Hadrian's favorite and their parents think it's hilarious to put two straws into the cup and make them share. Certainly, he got her in trouble on one of her birthdays when they opened all her presents before her mom could catalog who they came from because he convinced her that it was a good idea and ripping into gift wrap is like _the best thing ever_. Sure, she couldn't really name anyone else as her best friend because Hadrian was her only friend and she's too shy to make any more and he's too much of an idiot to be tolerated by anyone else.

Waking up to Hadrian outside her bedroom – or what was deemed hers in whatever residence they were staying in that weekend – was nothing new. He'd woken up earlier as usual and was waiting for her so they can go off and play. His idea of play this time was going through the numerous rooms of the large, old house. They'd found a TV and spent half an hour watching quarter of a movie when Hadrian thought it'd be fun to copy a scene.

She said yes because really there was no refusing this boy and she didn't mind. In hindsight, it was harmless to try to slow dance with an eight-year-old boy. Her mother finding them and thinking it was completely adorable and imprinting the moment to memory was less so. Her mother would remind her of it until she died.

* * *

Hadrian's cousin Ansel came to visit from abroad and it was the first time Via experienced being at the other end of a crush. Ansel liked her and was not hiding it _at all_. It was considerably awkward to be surrounded by someone who refused to leave you alone and did not seem to care that she held no affections for him whatsoever. The fact that she began to understand Avery from their kindergarten days was even more exasperating. Things got to a point that Via, not really a good swimmer, almost drowned one time because she refused Ansel's help to get out of the pool and thought death was a more viable option.

He asked, "Are you gonna give me a kiss if I win?"

Her mom planned a treasure hunt around their house. Little notes were hidden in places with clues that would lead you to the 'treasure'. Hadrian was excited in his typical need to be constantly moving. Ansel was smiling at her expectantly and she wanted to punch him. She shoved him away with violence only children are permitted to inflict upon each other and told him, "No!"

He just followed her because he was persistent. Hadrian beat them both and was excited as can be. The prize was chocolate. Ansel just shrugged and told her that he didn't want the chocolate anyway. Via, however, did and just smiled at Hadrian when he gave her a piece.

* * *

By the third grade, people had taken to teasing them for being friends because _girls and boys couldn't be friends without romance being involved_ apparently. When your teachers were leading the teasing and encouraging your classmates, there was only so much you can do. Hadrian just smiled when they were paired together for a dance routine because the school gods were having another contest. It was a waltz, of course.

She switched partners with Bernice and got paired up with Ryan instead and that was that.

For Valentine's Day, she brought roses to school to give to her favorite teachers. She'd given away all but one because she wouldn't see that one teacher until later in the day so she kept it by her bag. That didn't seem to stop their classmates from assuming things. They saw the blue rose and asked if it was for Hadrian. She corrected them to no avail.

"Just give it to him," Ryan insisted. "He's right beside you."

"It's not for him."

"Don't be shy. Girls can give boys flowers."

"No," Bernice cut in. "Boys should give flowers to girls. Maybe Hadrian gave her the rose."

Via glared at them. "He did not."

She didn't tell anyone about the blue rose she found in her room when she got home. Her mom just smiled in that knowing and annoying way of hers and declared, "It's from Hadrian."

She stared at the small flower, it was more of a bud really, and the artificial blue paint. It was probably from Uncle Shawn. Or it could also be from her stepdad. And maybe Hadrian was also capable of being sweet.

* * *

She remembered a time before Hadrian. The year before he transferred to her school, their teacher was asking the whole class who their best friend was. She was four-years-old, shy, and awkward and had only one to two friends in class who had other people as their best friend. She'd already known Hadrian by then and said his name when she was called.

"Who's Hadrian?" The teacher asked.

"He's my friend,"

"Is he not in this class?"

"No,"

It was one of the earliest memories she would ever have and it was the stinging, terrible experience of humiliation in front of all her classmates who were staring at her and a teacher who was looking at her in almost cold disapproval.

"Hadrian's not here."

 _She knew that_ but she didn't have a best friend in this class. What else was she supposed to say? She felt very small in this moment and sat down as soon as the teacher told her to. She wanted to disappear and she wished Hadrian was there so she wouldn't feel so alone.

* * *

Hadrian was transferred to a different school for high school. Their parents got busy with work and didn't have as much time to hang out every weekend anymore. Her mom and her stepdad were having problems. Uncle Shawn was busy managing his restaurant.

Time continued to move forward. It grinded, jumped, and flew. She saw Hadrian once through the years and it was gone right away. She got a new best friend who seemed to be almost as relentlessly energetic as Hadrian was once upon a time. And then high school was over and her stepfather was dead.

Things hadn't been easy for a while. And one night, he just left the house and never came back. She came home to her mother crying and they were burying her stepdad's ashes a week later. Her mother played the role of the dutiful wife at the funeral home, all made up with diamonds in her ears. And at home, she sobbed the hours away.

Via handled the guests who came and Uncle Shawn helped her get everything done with the paperwork and expenses. Living had been costly but dying was also not for free as she'd come to learn quickly.

"He was my best friend, you know," Uncle Shawn told her as they sat at the front pew. "So was your mom. I met her first, fancied myself in love with her even."

She stared at him, bewildered. "What?"

He let out a laugh. "Well, Tristan was furious with me trying to monopolize his wife's attention."

"And?"

" _And_ we almost dueled."

"Because this is the nineteenth century," She rolled her eyes. "What happened after that?"

"We became friends," He continued. "He was the guy I'd call when I got a flat tire and we would hang out even without your mother around."

"My mom became the third wheel?"

He laughed again. "Something like that."

She turned back to the casket and tried to ignore the acrid smell of death. The numerous flowers did a good job of distracting from it. It was like a flower shop in the chapel. Ironically, her stepdad never really cared for flowers.

"He didn't say goodbye," She told him quietly, the words felt too heavy. "He just left and then..."

"I'm sure he didn't mean to. He loved you," He pulled her into a one armed hug, squeezing her shoulder. "You were his daughter."

"Even if I wasn't? Not really."

He scoffed. "You were his daughter. And you're my daughter, too."

"That makes no sense."

He kissed her cheek. "Doesn't have to, Oviana."

* * *

Hadrian came on the worst day. The pent-up emotions bubbling out and over her, just pouring out in rivulets of tears and snot as she cried as hard as she could in one of the private rooms. Her mother didn't know how to deal with it and thought the best thing for the situation was to send in the boy she hadn't talked to in years to comfort her. He sat one of the chairs, looking uncomfortable. She was on the floor with her mountain of tissues.

It was not a beautiful reunion. He looked calm but obviously had no idea what to say or do. His mom had passed away when he was a baby. He never really had to deal with grief like hers.

He didn't say anything just looked at her with a steadiness that was so different from the manic boy of so long ago.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded between sobs. "I haven't seen you in years and you just show up and like – _why are you here_?"

The rage and despair were swirling together in a fucked up cocktail of emotions and she needed an outlet besides the river of tears. And he was sitting there like a lamb, all meek and it was _so infuriating_. Her wounds were out in the open and she felt raw and she was hurting and this stupid boy was just watching her. If somebody could give someone an award for _worst timing ever_ she would nominate him.

"What are you doing here?" She practically shouted. "Get out!"

He couldn't leave the room fast enough. Uncle Shawn replaced him and he wasn't so easily scared off. He rebuked her, "That wasn't nice."

She glared at him, blowing into a tissue with as much spite as she could muster.

"He's not going to say yes if you ask him out now,"

She groaned and threw a pillow at him.

* * *

Bianca was with her during the burial, held her hand throughout the whole thing. Hadrian was besides Uncle Shawn who was talking to her mother. It was unusually hot and the sun was punishing on the black mass. Bianca took out a fan from her purse to keep them cool.

"Is that _him_?" Her best friend whispered. "He's cute."

"We used to call him 'cat eyes'," Via responded, trying to distract herself from the casket. "I shouted at him at the funeral."

"Why?"

"He went into the room while I was crying, like legit _ugly crying_ , and I'm like 'what are you doing here?'" She winced. "It was pretty bad."

"Why was I not there?" Bianca looked up at the sky. "Why am I never around when the drama happens?"

Via rolled her eyes. "Oh hush."

Bianca was talkative and could have a conversation with anyone. Via often made a joke Bianca would chat up inanimate objects if she got desperate enough. It was unsurprising but uncomfortable when Bianca insisted she introduce Hadrian to her. Begging didn't deter her friend from her goal and Via wanted to crawl into a hole as she approached her former childhood friend.

"Um, hey,"

She did an awkward little wave.

"Hi," He greeted her back and she was just happy he didn't look angry at her.

"Hadrian, this is my best friend Bianca," Might as well get it over with. "Bianca, this is Hadrian."

He smiled at Bianca. "Her old best friend,"

"I heard. Sorry. She's my bestie now."

"It's okay. Things change."

"A lot has changed," She began to walk away, feeling too emotionally for anymore social interaction. "Goodbye."

"Oh, Via, wait!" Bianca called after her. "Nice to meet you, Hadrian. Bye!"

Her friend caught up to her and looped her arm through hers. Her phone in one hand, Bianca asked, "So, what's his last name? I'm going to add him on Facebook."

* * *

Bianca and Hadrian were friends now. It was odd. Then, Bianca hacked her and added Hadrian on her Facebook account and followed him on every other social media site. Her friend was being ridiculous.

"He's your destiny," Bianca stated. "You should get to know him again."

She rolled her eyes. "He is not."

"Your story with him hasn't finished," Bianca was theatrical and a huge romantic and it often resulted in her imagining detailed scenarios of events that would never come to pass. "Someday, you guys will get married and I'll be the maid-of-honor and the godmother to your future babies..."

Via crawled into her bed and pulled up the comforter up to her head to try to block out her friend's voice but it wasn't working as well as she wanted. Bianca just pulled back the comforter and continued talking.

"...and of course, your kids will be smart, little assholes who will probably bully the other kids and that will be why my kids will not be playing with your kids."

* * *

Via and Bianca were going to a movie. The new _Star Wars_ movie was finally out and Bianca, who had not watched any of the movies, was unhappy to be there as she had no idea what to expect. The only reason she went was because Via promised to explain everything to her. Bianca decided to get her own revenge though and invited Hadrian along.

Via glared at her best friend as the girl directed him to sit beside her.

"Hi," He greeted her first.

"Hey," She clutched the bag of popcorn to her like a lifeline. "So, _Star Wars_..."

"Yeah,"

The awkward silence and nervous smiles really wasn't doing anything for her. She stuffed her mouth with popcorn during the trailers and Via kept giving her looks.

"Talk to him," She mouthed.

Via blatantly ignored her and focused on the movie. She stiffened when Hadrian leaned closer and asked, "Hey, remember when Uncle Tristan used to do the Darth Vader voice?"

"Yeah, the asthmatic voice," She couldn't help but smile."Didn't your dad have that life-sized storm trooper figure?"

"Had?" Hadrian scoffed. "That thing is still around. Dad's practically married to it."

She laughed. "Didn't we try to name it?"

"I believe we called him Steve. You wanted to name him 'Stefan' and I said that it was-"

"Too fancy for a storm trooper," She rolled her eyes. "So, now he's just boring old Steve."

"Stefan isn't exactly intimidating."

"Not if you're a vampire,"

He smiled at her and turned back to the movie. She offered him popcorn. He took some. She took some of his M&Ms.

* * *

They had lunch after the movie. While they waited for the food, Bianca began asking Hadrian personal questions and it began to feel more like an interrogation. Via glared at the more inappropriate questions and gestured for her to stop. Bianca, channeling Clark Gable from _Gone with a Wind_ , did not give a damn.

"So, you guys were like childhood sweethearts?" Bianca prompted. "Did you have crushes on each other?"

Hadrian looked embarrassed but was a good sport about it. "I mean, yeah, I did. Via always thought I was an idiot."

Via almost cracked her neck with how fast she turned to him. "Wait. What? You liked Avery!"

"In kindergarten," He explained. "I liked you for half of our grade school days."

"But..."

"And then Ansel also liked you."

"Who are these people and have come I don't know them?" Bianca cut in. "Did you have a sordid love square thing back in the day?"

"No. We were kids," Via couldn't look him in the eye. "I didn't even know you liked me."

"I waltzed with you," He continued. "And then you only wanted to dance with Brian."

She corrected him, "It was Ryan."

"Ryan," He nodded. "What happened to that guy?"

Thankfully, the food arrived and talking was no longer required. Bianca smiled at her the whole way home and tagged her in photos she didn't even know were being taken. Photos of her with Hadrian with little captions like, ' _Can you feel the love tonight?_ ' and ' _We were both young when I first saw you'._ Via almost unfriended her, almost.

* * *

Uncle Shawn reopened his restaurant and invited Via and her mom to the opening. The place was as small and cozy as she remembered with mismatched chairs and table cloths. The food was good and Uncle Shawn came over to talk to her mom about people in their past. Via took out her phone and started texting Bianca who was at a night class.

When Hadrian walked in with a group of other boys his age, Uncle Shawn waved him over and he greeted her mother warmly. When he saw her, he smiled and asked if she wanted to go sit with him and his friends. She didn't refuse because the knowing looks their parents were giving them were too annoying to stick around for.

They sat at one of the tables outside. There was a bucket of beer and some food to go with it. His friends stared at her curiously and she was very interested in the knit pattern on the table cloth. She was not quite sure this was better than their parents teasing.

"Via, this is Rodney and Jim," Hadrian made the introductions. "Rod, Jim, this is Via,"

"Oh, _you're_ Via," Rodney grinned at her. "Hadrian's first love,"

"The one that got away,"

"Ignore them." Hadrian told her a little hastily. "They're liars."

She scratched at the peeling nail polish on her cuticles. He offered her a beer and she declined. She was never much for drinking. His friends began to smoke and she didn't mind. Her parents had been chain smokers back in the day and the smoke brought back memories.

Hadrian wasn't smoking either. He leaned a little closer to her and murmured, "You wanna go for a walk?"

* * *

She was wearing low heels and the pebbles on the path were a bit distracting but she managed. The air was cold and the city was almost quiet besides its usual cacophony of noises. The streetlamps were a bit scarce on the area so she and Hadrian took out their phones to act as flashlights. She hummed a little to fill the void.

He broke the silence first.

"Do you remember that time our dads took us on a ride on motorcycles?"

"I was so scared I would fall," She replied. "I was holding on for dear life."

"But hey, it was a cool way to travel."

"Weren't we staying at that house with the pool? The one you convinced me a dragon lived in? And we had to make offerings of bread and peppers or it would kill us?"

He shrugged. "You believed anything,"

"Ansel told me a lion with three tongues and snakes for hair lived at one of the apartments."

He smiled and shook his head. "You believed _anything_."

She didn't say anything more to that and they continued walking. Her bare legs were a bit cold against the wind due to her dress but she didn't mind so much. The moon was almost full and a yellowish color. It was almost peaceful (as much as it could be in the city).

"What happened to that red convertible your dad had?"

"He sold it," He answered. "You remembered it?"

"I liked the wind in my hair," She told him. "I wanted one just like it when I grew up."

"He sawed the car in half,"

She stopped and stared at him.

"The guy glued it to the wall for his restaurant."

"What a waste," She said. "You could've just given it to me."

She felt a bit outraged. She remembered the beautiful car with its top down. She remembered the cold wind in her hair and face. And they butchered it for decoration.

He nudged her lightly on the arm. "Next time then,"

* * *

Via just got out of class and decided to walk the distance from her college to the hospital. Bianca still had classes but they'd see each other again for their night class. She stopped to fish out her phone from her bag as it vibrated. She stared at the name on her phone's screen for like five seconds before answering the call.

"Hello?"

_"_ _Is your mom okay?_ _"_

She continued walking, talking a little louder into the phone due to the sounds of traffic around her.

"She's fine. Just got out of surgery."

" _What for_?"

"Hemorrhoids,"

" _Oh_ ," There was a brief silence. _"_ _She okay now?_ _"_

"Yep. Just sleeping it off,"

There were some murmurs.

" _Dad says we're gonna come visit_."

* * *

She and Hadrian were sat in the tiny balcony of her mom's hospital room. Her mom was awake now and was talking with Uncle Shawn about bands from the 80's. They were playing a game on his tablet before they paused the game so she could check her phone. It was a text from Bianca informing her that their last class was cancelled because the professor was sick.

She tucked away her phone in her bag.

"I should get home,"

He stood up and followed her

"Let me take you home,"

"No need for that," She tried to protest. "My house is really out of your way."

"I don't mind," He insisted. "I want to."

She stared at him and tried to judge whether he was sincere or not before acquiescing. She just wished their parents didn't look so pleased. She kissed her mom on the cheek and made her way out. Hadrian kept pace with her.

* * *

They were beside each other on the bus, close but not too much. She had the window seat and watched the sun steadily setting for the day. She remembered going to the beach when she was six with her parents and Uncle Shawn and Hadrian. They'd rented a small cottage by the sea and she came home sunburned to the gills and with a pocketful of sea shells.

She and Hadrian made sandcastles and tried to dig the world's deepest hole in the sand. Uncle Shawn grilled seafood while her parents took romantic walks by the shore. The sunscreen had proven ineffective and Hadrian had turned red like a crab. Her mother had complained and rubbed ointment into her peeling skin.

He asked, almost quietly, "What are you thinking about?"

"Remember when we went to the beach?"

"We were like six or seven, I think," He mused. "And my dad almost got attacked by a jelly fish."

"I nearly forgot about that,"

She leaned back against her seat and looked back out the window, letting the silence fall upon them again. His hand was near hers, almost touching, but not quite. She moved her arms closer to herself and tried not to move. She closed her eyes and tried not to think.

* * *

Bono had not forgotten Hadrian. Her old Yorkshire terrier had met Hadrian almost a decade ago when the boy accidentally kicked him. Bono had never forgotten and held a grudge like no other. As soon as his little eyes saw Hadrian, he knew him immediately and tried to go for the was only Via pushing Hadrian into the kitchen and grabbing Bono before he could take a bite out of the boy that Hadrian was able to come out of her house unscathed.

"I see he still hates me," Hadrian groused.

They sat at the steps leading to her house. Bono was inside and barking through the door. Just because Bono couldn't see Hadrian, didn't mean he couldn't hear and smell him and wish death upon him. Her dog had always been rather tenacious.

"Dogs never forget," She was almost laughing at his begrudging expression. "That's what you get for kicking puppies."

"I didn't mean to kick him! He's small and jumpy like a damn rabbit on steroids!"

"Three words – still hates you."

She smiled at him and his expression softened, the annoyed furrow in his brow disappearing as he asked, "Are we friends again?"

She looked away and stared at the street, watching as cars passed by and their neighbors waddled by.

She shrugged. "I guess if you want to be."

"I want to be," He replied without missing a beat. "Friends again, I mean."

"Then we're friends again."

It was as easy as that, apparently. Things were still very awkward but not as bad as before. It was kind of hard to treat someone who knew almost all your stories like a stranger. It was like stepping into some old shoes, she guessed, that were not quite the same size as before but manageable.

* * *

"Do you like him?"

Via stopped perusing the page of her textbook to stare at Bianca in confusion. They were in the library, doing research for an assignment. Bianca decided now was time for a break and was looking at her expectantly. When Via didn't answer right away, she snatched the book from her.

"Fine. Who do I like?"

"Hadrian, duh," Bianca raised her hand about a foot from her shoulder. "About this tall with green eyes, and oh yeah, _totally likes you_ ,"

"We're just friends, B."

"V, _we_ are friends. You and Hadrian are _not_ friends." She shook her head. "You don't see it, do you? How he looks at you. That smile he has when you say something funny."

Via ignored what the implication of what she just said and decided to play it off. Bianca was theatrical and romantic with a good heart but delusion was always a danger with her. She made fairy tales out of nothing. She tried to make frogs into princes.

" _You_ seemed to have noticed. Maybe _he_ likes _you_."

"He doesn't give me the eye thing,"

"What eye thing?"

"The eye thing," She persisted. "His eyes get all soft like he's melting from the inside."

Via winced at the description. "That sounds painful."

"Love hurts," Bianca nudged her shoulder with hers. "Right, V?"

She rolled her eyes and snatched her book back.

"You're a menace."

* * *

Via's biological father walked out on her before she was born. Her mom had just had her and Via was just a few months old when they met the man who would be her stepdad. Things were never perfect but he hadn't cared if she wasn't his by blood. He called her his daughter and he signed the papers and adopted her.

They fought. He was still kind of immature. He fought with her mom but people who love each other fight. Not in a bad way but because sometimes love wasn't always gently and nice. Sometimes, love had teeth and you needed to bleed. That's how you would come out stronger.

She'd read poetry and didn't believe the platitudes. She remembered late night ice cream trips. She remembered her stepdad's stubble grazing her cheek when he kissed her hello. She remembered annoyed looks her parents gave each other. She remembered ripping up a poster in her room to tiny pieces because her stepdad had made her so angry.

It wasn't always beautiful because life wasn't. It could be painful and cruel. It could be loud and overwhelming. It could be everything at once.

* * *

Conversations with Hadrian had always been light. As kids, one didn't talk about the heavy stuff. Heavy stuff was for the adults, after all. But they were on the cusp of adulthood, sprinting towards it rather than crawling now. In a few years they would be getting jobs and starting families and whether they wanted it or not the future wasn't something to be chased anymore in some faraway thought.

It was his mother's birthday today, not really something they thought of before. She was some woman in photographs and their parents' stories. Hadrian got his eyes from her and she supposedly spoke four languages. And she died giving birth to Hadrian.

Neither of them really drunk or smoked so they sat on the porch of his large house, one she doesn't remember having been to before, and drank cold soda. It's cold that night so she borrowed one of his jackets and enjoyed how long the sleeves were. Their late night childhoods felt like a lifetime ago but one look at each other and she could see the boy that was. Those children were still alive somewhere.

"Do you ever think about a world where you just aren't here?" He started. "Like an alternate reality."

"Like _Doctor Who_?"

"No, like, just a world where maybe one thing is different,"

She stared at him, trying to get what he was saying, but he was just looking at the canopy of stars above them and once again, she's reminded that, she may still see hints of the boy he used to be but he was also becoming something else now. She was almost afraid to ask her question, "Like what?"

"A world where I'm not here," He quickly clarified. "Not in a I-don't-want-to-live-anymore kinda way. I meant, I just, maybe there's a world where my mom is alive. A world where I don't..."

"Or maybe there's a world where you both exist," She smiled when he turned to her and she remembered Bianca saying something about soft eyes and melting. "There has to be more than one alternate reality, right?"

"Yeah," He continued to stare at her and a hint of a smile escaped him. "Thanks, Via."

"Anytime,"

* * *

The daughter of their parents' old friend was getting married and they somehow were roped into attending the wedding. Both being of the disposition of not having enjoyed their high school proms and would really not have to lounge about in formal wear for hours on end, they tried to get out of it and failed. Her mother had succeeded into getting her into a short, simple dress that was formal enough for the event but comfortable enough she didn't want to be like Cinderella and leave the place. Hadrian managed with just a button-down and some dress pants.

"I wanted to wear pants," She pouted during the reception. They'd already eaten their fill and were eating some kind of spongy desert outside the venue, trying to get some air. "Being a girl is shit."

"I wouldn't trade with you for anything," He quipped and laughed when she smacked him on the arm. "Violence is not gonna persuade me either."

Music started playing louder and they turned to glance what was happening inside through the doors. The bride and groom were about to have their first dance. They both shrugged and went back to fighting about nothing. That was until their parents dragged them back inside and insisted they dance at least once because "it's a wedding!"

* * *

Slow dancing at prom had been awkward. She'd gone with Bianca who spent the night pining after some boy in the year above them. Via had danced two dances with her male classmates before sitting with Bianca and keeping her company for the night. Prom had been more build-up and ten layers of make-up for a pretty uneventful night.

Slow dancing when they were children had been funny and interesting. They didn't know what they were doing at all, trying to ape the movements on the TV and failing like fawns on new legs. It had been five seconds of awkward swaying before her mom saw them and started almost crowing like a rooster. That had ended things abruptly.

Slow dancing now felt strange. She couldn't look up at him, staring at the blue grey fabric of his shirt and at the almost transparent buttons. Her breath was fanning her neck and the sounds around them felt muffled. She closed her eyes and thought of something else, anything else, but what was happening.

"Via," He said her name in that soft tone she never could place. "What are you thinking?"

"Prom," She replied. "I was dancing with this guy who kept sweating throughout the whole thing. It wasn't pleasant."

He chuckled. "I danced with a girl whose perfume made me so dizzy I needed to sit down after."

"The other guy I danced with left me two seconds later to dance with another girl."

"What an asshole,"

She finally looked up and saw his expression and - _damn it, Bianca_ – she really wouldn't have noticed the eye thing and melting because she wouldn't know what to look for if it hadn't been pointed out to her.

"You danced with any other girls?"

"A few. Just girls I knew," His hands were warm at her waist and she could feel it through her dress. "Not anything special."

"The food was good, at least."

"The only reason to go to parties," He smiled at her and she felt something begin to melt in her too – _oh no_ – that she tried to take a step back. He held her a bit tighter. "You okay?"

"Let's get more food?"

"A girl after my own heart!"

 _I'm really not_ , she thought, as she escaped the cage of his arms and practically sprinted to the buffet table.

* * *

The reception was taking forever. And their parents didn't seem to want to leave anytime soon. They'd escaped outside again and we're sat on some benches and contemplating everything and everyone now. They'd raided the buffet table more times than decent at this point.

"Do you think it's weird that my mom and your dad were almost...?"

He grimaced. "Yes, it is very weird. Let us not bring it up again."

"Oh hush," She nudged him in the shoulder. "Think about it, if there is an alternate reality..."

"No."

"Then there's probably a world..."

"No."

"Where my mom and your dad are together..."

"No."

"And we're siblings."

He paused at that, stared at her in pure horror and then looked back at the sky again. She watched him and waited for another reaction but he seemed to want to stare the sky into submission. She glared at him and nudged him again. He swatted her away.

"Hey, this was your idea,"

"Our parents getting together will never be my idea. I'm not that demented," He scowled at her. "And _eww_."

"What? You don't want a world where I call you 'bro'?"

He shook his head. "Not in this world."

That made something in her feel all warm and tingly. Must be all the cake she had. She got to her feet and insisted they go on a walk. It was probably a good idea to burn off the calories.

* * *

It was probably getting weird how much time they spent hanging out at his house. They couldn't really go to her place so much as Bono still wanted Hadrian dead and his house was so big anyway, he had guest rooms to spare. When Hadrian didn't have class that day, he drove her to school or at least to the train station. The small bag of clothes and toiletries she had at his place had been for convenience at this point (since borrowing his clothes was getting inappropriate).

She'd more often than not come over unannounced and Uncle Shawn didn't even bat an eyelash, just informed her whether Hadrian was home or not. If it was the latter, she'd even help Uncle Shawn make lunch or dinner and Hadrian would come home to them singing _Abba_ songs in the kitchen. Her mom already knew Hadrian's car, to the point, she'd glance at it and know he'd come to pick up Via. And while Hadrian couldn't make it to the steps without Bono going ballistic, if her mom wasn't home, he knew which window to throw pebbles at (because guys like doing that for some reason even if we have modern technology now).

She had some hair stuff in his car and a pack of wet wipes she insisted he keep there because "Jesus Christ, Hadrian, you never know when you'll need it". She'd stolen one of his sweat shirts and he knew she knew he knew she had it but didn't say anything anyway. She already knew his schedule and he knew hers and he still talked to Bianca a lot about God knows what. And she sometimes wondered how they went from the two strangers at that funeral to...friends, again.

* * *

"Awww!"

Via looked at Bianca oddly who was peering at the screen of her phone with a big smile. Bianca let out a giggle and took her phone from her, scrolling up to check the rest of the conversation. Via glared at her and tried to snatch it back but Bianca was relentless. Bianca even sighed dreamily at one part that she read.

"You two are so cute!"

She managed to get her phone back and moved her chair a few inches away from Bianca so the other girl could not steal her things again.

"I mean, he checks on you when you arrive in school or if you arrived home properly?" Biance cooed. "And he sends you cute pics of dogs and you wear his clothes. I mean, you guys are just _Relationship Goals_."

Via looked at her like she was insane. "What are you talking about?"

Bianca just cooed again. "And that blatant denial just makes it even better."

" _Bianca_ ,"

"Someday, my dear V, you will realize what I'm talking about and then I will get to say what you always like to tell me because you are just that kind of jerk."

"What?"

" _I fucking told you so_."

* * *

Her night class was running a bit late so when she ducked out to send Hadrian a quick text that ' _she was fine. And no! Do not get in your car to come pick me up. Stay where you are. Stay!_ ' and her classmate asked her if it was her dad or her boyfriend checking in. She'd laughed and said he wasn't her boyfriend, he was just a friend.

The girl remarked, "Oh, well, he just seemed a little too concerned for a friend,"

"Friends can be very concerned about each other." She argued back. "That's what friendship is about."

"Okay, Via. Whatever you say,"

The girl left the restroom, leaving her to stare at her phone and scowl.

_**I'll be there in 30.** _

* * *

Hadrian arrived there in twenty minutes and she stared contemplatively at his car before stepping forward and getting into the passenger seat. He looked like he did get out of bed with his sweat shirt and the pajamas that should really never leave the house because he wasn't five anymore and society had standards. She scowled at the windshield and contemplated his behavior. Sure, friends could act like overprotective fathers and go do the opposite of what she said because he cared about her. I mean if there was anyone who she should consider a brother...

_Not in this world._

She turned to him and studied his profile. He'd never been unattractive, lucky ass hat that he was, and his eyes had always been bizarre and pretty. And right now, as he, frankly, looked like a moron in his pajamas, he looked good. And she hated him.

Like, of course, all of _whatever this was_ would mess with her head. Here she was realizing some very important things about them and he was probably just sitting there thinking about orange soda or basketball. They were both involved so they should both be confused and suffering. She shouldn't be the only one unceremoniously pushed out of sweet ignorance.

"Hadrian,"

He glanced at her briefly, keeping his attention on the road.

"You shouldn't have come get me."

"Don't be ridiculous, Via," He almost rolled his eyes. "As your unpaid and unofficial driver, it's my job."

"You shouldn't have."

"I wanted to," He said with a bit of force.

She let out a sigh and closed her eyes.

_You fucking idiot._

* * *

"Is there any particular reason you've been so moody lately?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about,"

Via crossed her arms over her chest and tried to scoot away from him on the plastic seats on the crowded train as much as she could. His car was in the shop for some reason or another so they had to take the train to the concert. They'd been planning it for weeks, her little birthday celebration aside from the dinner their parents were taking them out to. Bianca was originally supposed to go with them but had to back out due to an important project. She wished her best friend was there though to act as a buffer or distraction for the idiot pressed too closely to her on the train.

"You bite my head off every time I try to talk to you," He was returning her glare. "You ignore my texts or calls and when I come to pick you up, you make your mom send me away even if I know you're up there because I can see the lights are on in your room."

"You're paranoid."

"You're being ridiculous," She tried to move away further from him but he grabbed her hand. "Via, stop."

She sighed, exasperated, and finally looked at him. The glare softened instantly and she hated the melting feeling on her insides. She had no food to blame anymore. _What an ass hat._

"What's going on, Via?"He asked in that gentle voice of his that made her want to punch him in the face. "Why are you so angry?"

" _I'm not angry_."

"The biting tone kind of says otherwise."

" _I'm not_ ..." She took a deep breath and said more calmly, "I'm not angry."

"Okay, fine, you're not angry. But you're not fine, Via." His other hand came up and tugged on some of the messy curls around her little braided hairstyle. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not," She stood up as the train stopped. "Let's just go watch the concert."

He didn't immediately let go of her hand and she let him.

* * *

The concert was good. They'd made some kind of silent pact and spent the entire time in high spirits. They sang and cheered and by the end of the night was so exhausted they forgot to even be annoyed with each other. On the train back, the cart was nearly empty, and she leaned into him as the scenery moved past them. Lights swam past her vision and she closed her eyes and rested her head more securely on his shoulder.

"Via," He sounded tired but determined. "Are you still angry?"

"No. I was never angry."

"And the past few days was just...girl stuff?"

She smacked his arm.

"Then what is it?"

She opened her eyes and looked into those damn green eyes that should be outlawed. "Bianca says you like me. Actually, most of my classmates think you like me. So do our neighbors, our parents, and maybe even Bono. "

"Bono?"

"I think he approves of you now. He barks with less hatred."

He blinked and let out a soft laugh. "Okay."

"So?" She nudged him. "Is it true?"

"Via," He opened his eyes again and grasped her chin gently so she couldn't look away."I liked you before I understood what that even meant. And I probably will continue to do so for quite some time. And I don't know how you feel about me but...nothing has to change. If you want things to be like they are now...then it's okay. I'm not pressuring you into anything."

She smacked him again. "Of course things are going to change, you idiot. Because I like you too, even when you liked Avery and thought she was prettier than me."

"As I recall, Avery wanted us to be together, too."

She scoffed. "This whole thing has been rigged from the start."

He chuckled and tugged on her hair again. Her hair was really messy from all the sweating, singing, and even dancing during the concert. He didn't seem to mind though. But he's always been weird.

"So, does that make us...?"

"Whatever you want," She closed her eyes and returned to using his shoulder as a pillow. "I just wanna nap."

"Can I at least kiss you?"

She opened one sleepy eye and stared at his hopeful expression.

"Not tonight."

"Tomorrow?"

"Fine,"

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head and she drifted off to the sound of his breathing, the moving of the train carriage, and the swimming lights of the city.

* * *

He'd come to pick her up at an absurdly late hour but her mom thought Hadrian was a saint and let her go without too much fuss since she had no classes the next day. He'd told her to turn down the window and let the night air blow the wind through her hair and she remembered so many nights similar to this so long ago. One had to wonder if some things in life were inevitable or maybe this was just one of many worlds. Maybe there was a world where her stepdad was still around and she was just as happy as this but she didn't like to dwell for too long.

"I'm pretty sure our parents are making bets on when I propose."

"What?" She stared at him in alarm. "We're only eighteen!"

"They've been trying to get us get together since we were kids," He shrugged. "This is apparently their end game."

She scowled. "They could at least look a little less smug about it."

He laughed and took her hand, holding it in his palm like it was nothing. He was very touchy-feely she'd come to learn. He seemed to want to always be connected to her in some way. It was both endearing and mind-blowing.

He took her where they had the best view of the city. On top of his car and staring up at the stars, it was always the same boy - then and now - in her head. it was terrifying and amazing and she wanted to run away and also, possibly, shackle him to her. This love stuff was making her crazy.

"Hey, Via,"

She looked up at him and smiled all loopy. He made her stupid. It was ridiculous. Definitely made her crazy.

"Do I get a kiss now?"

She pretended to be annoyed. "If we must,"

She leaned up and kissed him, just to shut him up and because she really, really wanted to.

**Author's Note:**

> This was for Julien's birthday. I hope you enjoyed it, dear.
> 
> I would also like to dedicate this story to my late stepdad, Jiffy. I realized that I could never have written this story without you. You were only in my life for a few years but you made them count. You gave me memories of having an infuriating, loving, amazing dad. You gave me memories of motorbike rides and amusement parks. You never made me feel less for not being your blood and I will always be grateful to you.
> 
> A lot of the childhood memories in the story are based on my actual memories. I had some pretty good memories I realized. It was a pleasure (and torture) to have to remember them again.
> 
> To all the boys who helped create Hadrian. You, boy who I liked from the ages of 4 to 8, really sorry about the funeral but you really have the worst timing. And the rest of you, thank you for being so stupid I had material to write about.
> 
> To Yssa, the generic best friend in my story, whom will always be in my stories in some way because who else would be the best friend but the girl who taught me what it meant to have one and to be one?
> 
> And for the rest of you who read and enjoyed this, life is made of a series of nothing talks. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't have them or they don't need to exist. They do. It's the nothing talks that keep us alive.
> 
> Random facts: Hadrian is named after a Roman Emperor. He has green eyes because my grandmother's suitor from long ago was this guy named Tom who had green eyes. They used to call him "Matang Pusa" or Cat Eyes.
> 
> Oviana is from Aria San Miguel's middle Name "Hoviana". I just took out the H. Thanks for letting me use it.
> 
> Bono is based after my aunt's Yorkshire Terrier. The name comes from the Irish band U2 as Via's parents are fans.


End file.
